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I Got My Own...
My good friends at Boissuq.com, a new blogsite dedicated to relationships from a distinctly female perspective, will be contributing content to "The Beautiful Side of Soul". Take a look, take it in and give them some feedback. Show 'em that we don't all suck.
…but what does that have to do with you?
I get it that a man likes a woman that's self sufficient and can stand on her own. I expect the same from a man.
But this whole new "I love her cause she got her own" movement is a load of bull! I blogged about this on my personal blog not too long ago, and I thought the subject needed to be revisited. I keep hearing men say they want a woman that does not need them...blah, blah, blah...but it seems that they are defining need in the material sense. This is what I posted on the matter:
The problem is...
Men seem to look at the material when they consider wants vs. needs.
A woman can pay her own way, yet be needy and insecure.
And some men that speak this, "I want an independent woman bull"...
well...
They don't know how to act when they get what they want. After a while, what they love about you, is what they begin to despise. They look at you one day, realize you don't NEED them, then they are off to put on the cape and play captain save'em for the first chick that makes them feel needed.
Just because a chick drives a fly whip that she paid for, lives in a nice house that she paid for...well, that does not mean she's wife/mother material. This might just mean she has a good business acumen, because she could be an emotional basket case...she could be selfish and only concerned with winning...and you've just become a pawn in her game. Also fellas, you must admit, a man loves to feel needed. If not, why would Captain Save'em exist in the first place? When you feel that a woman does not need you, do you feel like less of a man? What makes you gravitate towards the chick that apparently does not have her mind right? Note, I said mind...not bank account.
Another trend I see, is the fear of being used. "Men" are justifying their childish actions in the name of self preservation. If a woman expects them to buy her anything, then she's out to get them. It seems that so many "men" these days are so afraid of getting got, that they dismiss the right woman because of some trivializations, and end up with the gold digger that is going to take them for all they are worth. And...f you take the time to really get to know some of these women that have their own...you will come to find that they got it from a man.
On the personal blog, I also mentioned that I do not believe that chivalry is dead, just a loss art form. This is what one of my male commentators had to say:
A woman that's "got her own" is sexy, BUT this doesn't mean a man should shy away from chivalry; real men are chivalrous and real women appreciate this for what it is.
I'm not sure how so many of us lost our way in how to court a woman, but we need to stop coming up with excuses or expressions for not doing so.
Spoken like a REAL man!
Fellas, the same way you like for us to make you feel like a man...we like it when you make us feel like a woman.
Hold the door open for me, pull out my chair and wait to sit until I am seated, stand up when I get up from the table, pick up the tab when we go out for lunch/dinner...A REAL man does not shy away from the small things, he pays attention and knows how to properly court a woman.
Now, with all this being said, I must admit "She Got Her Own" is my song of the moment...mostly because of the musical arrangement. But I will also admit the following part of Ne-yo's verse is what endears me to the song...
She don't look at me like, captain save 'em
Gold diggin', no, she don't do that
Now she look at me like inspiration
She wanna be compliment to my swag
Fellas, be mindful...Just because she has her own, does not mean she will not want yours as well...
And...
A MAN wants a woman that belongs beside him...yet willing to stand behind him when necessary...a woman that you inspire, and she inspires you as well.
Waiting on my inspiration...
© 2009, kelic All rights reserved.
Date Submitted: 12/12/2009 2:24 PM
Comments: 0
PostedBy: stanley
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